I wanted to send some sort of Christmas greeting to my friends and
colleagues, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly
what to say without offending someone.
So I met with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say
the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
nonaddictive, gender-neutral celebration of the summer solstice
holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious
persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the
religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their
choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society
have helped make our country great (your country of choice) and without
regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious
faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the
wishes for her-/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law,
and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and
warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new
wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Best Wishes,
David.