Twas the night before Christmas,
And all throughout hell
It was quiet as death,
Not the sound of a spell.

And my barb in his armor,
And my zon in her plate
Were discussing a ring,
Which they both thought was great.
When down from the Keep
there arose such a yell
That I put up my shield
And went storming through hell

When what to blood soaked eyes should appear,
But a large pack of harpies,
And death lords to the rear

I hacked, and I hewed,
and I shouted like hell
And thought to myself,
"Hey, I'm doing quite well"

Hack Colenzo, Hew Achmel, Bash Bartuc too
He wasn't MS  and his hit points were few
And Ventar went down
Without much of a fight
He's really no trouble,
If you time it just right

But now comes a foe
We have all come to hate
For before we can fight,
We just sit there and wait
And sooner or later,
if we're patient enough
Comes Lister and friends
And boy are they tough

So I fought and I danced
And I ran all around
Until finally Lister
And friends hit the ground

And then from the depths
Of the levels below,
Came a sound that by now,
I am sure you all know,

A hideous laugh
That chills to the bone
And quickly you know
That you're really alone
And just when I thought
That I knew what to do
He says "Merry Christmas to all",
Here's a cracked sash for you

Mickey