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fwd: Christmas Facts

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Ashen Shugar - 20 Dec 2004 03:00 GMT
A little Christmas cheer for all from the Australian Bureau of
Statistics!

31 Australians have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree
while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Australians have died in the last 3 years by eating Christmas
decorations they believed were chocolate.

Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
incidents.

101 Australians since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic
toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Australians had serious burns in 1998 trying on a new jumper with a
lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Australians were admitted to casualty in the last two
years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth or eye socket.

5 Australians were injured last year in accidents involving out of
control Scalextric cars.

3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their
tongue.

142 Australians were injured in 1998 by not removing all the pins from
new shirts.

58 Australians are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

and finally:
8 Australians cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep
(passing out) while throwing up into the toilet.

Ashen Shugar
Signature

The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule!

flame_thrower - 20 Dec 2004 04:14 GMT
big grin til this one.

> and finally:
> 8 Australians cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep
> (passing out) while throwing up into the toilet.

this got me LOL.

> Ashen Shugar
short - 20 Dec 2004 13:06 GMT
> A little Christmas cheer for all from the Australian Bureau of
> Statistics!
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
> Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
> incidents.

Erm, what does this mean?

short - those are funny though
Ashen Shugar - 20 Dec 2004 13:23 GMT
I think it was "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> that wrote something
like...

>> A little Christmas cheer for all from the Australian Bureau of
>> Statistics!
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
>
>short - those are funny though

What does it mean by crackers?
They're like bon-bons I think.  Paper tube sort of thing with a prize
thingy in the middle.  It's for 2 people, has a strip of card running
through it that each person grabs and pulls.  It goes pop and someone
"wins" what's in the middle.

Ashen Shugar
Signature

The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule!

Doc - 20 Dec 2004 13:40 GMT
Ashen Shugar <deathsabyss@yahoo.com.au> stared blankly into space for
a short while before writing:
> I think it was "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> that wrote
> something like...
[quoted text clipped - 14 lines]
> running through it that each person grabs and pulls.  It goes pop
> and someone "wins" what's in the middle.

You are 100% correct :)

Signature

Doc

short - 20 Dec 2004 14:34 GMT
> I think it was "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> that wrote something
> like...
[quoted text clipped - 14 lines]
> through it that each person grabs and pulls.  It goes pop and someone
> "wins" what's in the middle.

That's no fair!!

short - we need those over here
flame_thrower - 20 Dec 2004 15:20 GMT
> > like...
> >
[quoted text clipped - 15 lines]
> >
> That's no fair!!

Sounds like a wishbone gone bad.

> short - we need those over here
Sean McCabe - 22 Dec 2004 03:28 GMT
flamethrwer srote:
>> > They're like bon-bons I think.  Paper tube sort of thing with a prize
>> > thingy in the middle.  It's for 2 people, has a strip of card running
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
>>
>Sounds like a wishbone gone bad.

Except with cool paper hats and plastic cocktail monkeys.

Sean

Unklbob
Bobthesoft
UnklBarb
all of bobs gear monkeys
.....
and the rest
sidekick - 20 Dec 2004 15:39 GMT
>>I think it was "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> that wrote something
>>like...
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
>
> short - we need those over here

If by "over here"  you mean in the states...we do have them.  Marshall's
or Goody's if you have one close by
short - 20 Dec 2004 15:47 GMT
> >>I think it was "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> that wrote something
> >>like...
[quoted text clipped - 21 lines]
> If by "over here"  you mean in the states...we do have them.  Marshall's
> or Goody's if you have one close by

I wonder why I've never seen them?

short - nobody loves me :(
sidekick - 20 Dec 2004 20:47 GMT
>>>>I think it was "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> that wrote something
>>>>like...
[quoted text clipped - 25 lines]
>
> short - nobody loves me :(

short-sightedness?   <grin>
jerk-o - 20 Dec 2004 21:30 GMT
After going to <http://tinyurl.com/2tnqw> and realizing that it's a
small world after all, "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> said:

>short - nobody loves me :(

It's ok short.  I think you're cool.
Signature

no, i didn't forget the 'F's
http://www.geocities.com/jerk_o2002
http://www.geocities.com/nameless_mod
    -My Diablo 2 Mod
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bunny.php
    -My theme song

short - 21 Dec 2004 13:21 GMT
> After going to <http://tinyurl.com/2tnqw> and realizing that it's a
> small world after all, "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> said:
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> It's ok short.  I think you're cool.
> --

Just my luck.  The only Jerk in the group thinks I'm cool :o)

short
~misfit~ - 21 Dec 2004 23:07 GMT
>> After going to <http://tinyurl.com/2tnqw> and realizing that it's a
>> small world after all, "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> said:
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
>>
> Just my luck.  The only Jerk in the group thinks I'm cool :o)

I think you're cool too. :-)

I wrote this really long reply to you in the keeping frenzy barbs alive
thread, took me about 20 minutes. You know, where I asked why everyone
picked on you. Then bloody lookout express did something it hasn't done for
ages but used to do fairly regularly, I hit "Insert sig" and the program
crashes. I used to <ctrl-A >, <ctrl-C> before hitting "Insert sig" on long
replies for just such an eventuality but it hasn't done it for, like, three
months, so I got out of the habit. It was 4am and I was so pissed I couldn't
be bothered re-writing it.
--
~misfit~
Orchid - 22 Dec 2004 07:00 GMT
> >> After going to <http://tinyurl.com/2tnqw> and realizing that it's a
> >> small world after all, "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> said:
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
>
> I think you're cool too. :-)

This is a good example of how very removed from reality our perceptions
of people can be based on internet contact. ;-)

Shari
~misfit~ - 22 Dec 2004 08:20 GMT
>>>> After going to <http://tinyurl.com/2tnqw> and realizing that it's a
>>>> small world after all, "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> said:
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
> This is a good example of how very removed from reality our
> perceptions of people can be based on internet contact. ;-)

LOL.
--
~misfit~
jerk-o - 22 Dec 2004 11:02 GMT
After going to <http://tinyurl.com/2tnqw> and realizing that it's a
small world after all, orchid@somewhere.net (Orchid) said:

>> >> After going to <http://tinyurl.com/2tnqw> and realizing that it's a
>> >> small world after all, "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> said:
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
>This is a good example of how very removed from reality our perceptions
>of people can be based on internet contact. ;-)

Bah humbug.  Reality is a figment of the imagination.
Signature

no, i didn't forget the 'F's
http://www.geocities.com/jerk_o2002
http://www.geocities.com/nameless_mod
    -My Diablo 2 Mod
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bunny.php
    -My theme song

Orchid - 21 Dec 2004 08:47 GMT
> > >>I think it was "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> that wrote something
> > >>like...
[quoted text clipped - 23 lines]
>
> I wonder why I've never seen them?

I think you tend to see them only at fairly urban areas or in upscale
stores in the States since they're usually imports. They're traditional
in England but it's one of those t hings that never really made the
transition to the States.

That being said, I think Land's End also sells them via catalogs during
Christmas.

Shari
Sean McCabe - 22 Dec 2004 03:31 GMT
Shari wrote:

>I think you tend to see them only at fairly urban areas or in upscale
>stores in the States since they're usually imports. They're traditional
>in England but it's one of those t hings that never really made the
>transition to the States.

Yup.  Its a Brit thang, you wouldn't understand.

I do like the paper hats, though.

Sean

Unklbob
Bobthesoft
UnklBarb
all of bobs gear monkeys
.....
and the rest
Watchman - 23 Dec 2004 00:30 GMT
> > I think it was "short" <shorts@zoominternet.net> that wrote something
> > like...
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
>
> short - we need those over here

You mean, at Christmas, you're denied access to crappy plastic toys,
cheap paper hats and jokes that would make a cli'che clown cringe?
That's barbaric! :p

Watchman :)
Signature

     'Anyone who isn't confused doesn't really know what's going on'

Doc - 20 Dec 2004 13:39 GMT
Ashen Shugar <deathsabyss@yahoo.com.au> stared blankly into space for
a short while before writing:
> A little Christmas cheer for all from the Australian Bureau of
> Statistics!

> 101 Australians since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic
> toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

Yep. Been there...

> 3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their
> tongue.

Heh, wimps...

> 142 Australians were injured in 1998 by not removing all the pins
> from new shirts.

Thank god new shirts don't dome with pins any more :)

> and finally:
> 8 Australians cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep
> (passing out) while throwing up into the toilet.

We call it "Praying at the porcelain altar"

Signature

Doc

short - 20 Dec 2004 14:35 GMT
> Ashen Shugar <deathsabyss@yahoo.com.au> stared blankly into space for
> a short while before writing:
[quoted text clipped - 15 lines]
>
> Thank god new shirts don't dome with pins any more :)

Hehe, where do you get your new shirts?!?!?!?
IIRC the ones that come wrapped up around some cardboard still have pins,
but I usually try and buy the ones that come on hangers, or just free-folded
on a shelf.

short
Doc - 21 Dec 2004 14:06 GMT
short <shorts@zoominternet.net> stared blankly into space for a short
while before writing:
>> Ashen Shugar <deathsabyss@yahoo.com.au> stared blankly into space
>> for
[quoted text clipped - 21 lines]
> pins, but I usually try and buy the ones that come on hangers, or
> just free-folded on a shelf.

Last couple of shirts I bought came wrapped the usual way, with a
cardboard insert behind the front of the shirt and cardboard or possibly
plastic insert under the collar. They were held together with about 4
plastic clips.

Signature

Doc
dome???

short - 21 Dec 2004 14:17 GMT
> short <shorts@zoominternet.net> stared blankly into space for a short
> while before writing:
[quoted text clipped - 30 lines]
>
> --

Ooh, nice!!

Someone bought me a shirt for my birthday and there was no cardboard inside
it, but it did have that little plastic thing in the collar, and it had to
have had 450 pins in it.

short
sidekick - 21 Dec 2004 15:33 GMT
> short <shorts@zoominternet.net> stared blankly into space for a short
> while before writing:
[quoted text clipped - 30 lines]
> plastic insert under the collar. They were held together with about 4
> plastic clips.

I have had both.  The most recent had pins.
We really find some interesting topics to get hung up on in here!  LOL
Ashen Shugar - 20 Dec 2004 14:39 GMT
I think it was "Doc" <the.doc.is.in@REMOVETHlSgmail.com> that wrote
something like...

>> and finally:
>> 8 Australians cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep
>> (passing out) while throwing up into the toilet.
>
>We call it "Praying at the porcelain altar"

I'd heard worshipping the porcelain god before.
Ashen Shugar
Signature

The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule!

Chucky & Janica - 20 Dec 2004 15:05 GMT
Once upon a time - for example, Mon, 20 Dec 2004 14:39:52 GMT - there
was this guy, or something, called deathsabyss@yahoo.com.au (Ashen
Shugar), and they made us all feel better by saying the following
stuff:

>>> and finally:
>>> 8 Australians cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>
>I'd heard worshipping the porcelain god before.

Calling Huey on the Great Big Porcelain Phone.

HuuuUUuuuUUuuuuUUUEEYY!

C&J

Signature

Beware of Trojans, they're complete smegheads.

    - 13 & 13b of 12, the CMM Collective.
    - www.afrj-monkeyhouse.org

flame_thrower - 20 Dec 2004 15:22 GMT
> I think it was "Doc" <the.doc.is.in@REMOVETHlSgmail.com> that wrote
> something like...
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
> I'd heard worshipping the porcelain god before.

and in parts of america we say "praying to the porcelain god"
> Ashen Shugar
radiodude - 29 Dec 2004 21:50 GMT
>>I think it was "Doc" <the.doc.is.in@REMOVETHlSgmail.com> that wrote
>>something like...
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
>
>>Ashen Shugar

Driving the porcelain bus...

Jim
~misfit~ - 29 Dec 2004 22:14 GMT
>>> I think it was "Doc" <the.doc.is.in@REMOVETHlSgmail.com> that wrote
>>> something like...
[quoted text clipped - 12 lines]
>
> Driving the porcelain bus...

Calling for Ralph and Hewie.
--
~misfit~
short - 30 Dec 2004 14:01 GMT
> >>> I think it was "Doc" <the.doc.is.in@REMOVETHlSgmail.com> that wrote
> >>> something like...
[quoted text clipped - 16 lines]
> --
> ~misfit~

Dropping the kids off at the pool............on wait, nm.  Wrong bodily
function.

short
Chucky & Janica - 30 Dec 2004 14:42 GMT
Once upon a time - for example, Thu, 30 Dec 2004 11:14:09 +1300 -
there was this guy, or something, called "~misfit~"
<misfit61nz@hooya.co.nz>, and they made us all feel better by saying
the following stuff:

>>>>>> and finally:
>>>>>> 8 Australians cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
>
>Calling for Ralph and Hewie.

Parking a tiger.

C&J

Signature

Beware of Trojans, they're complete smegheads.

    - 13 & 13b of 12, the CMM Collective.
    - www.afrj-monkeyhouse.org

Sean McCabe - 22 Dec 2004 03:34 GMT
>We call it "Praying at the porcelain altar"

I like the more refined "Technicolor yawn".

Sean
Unklbob
Bobthesoft
UnklBarb
all of bobs gear monkeys
.....
and the rest
jerk-o - 22 Dec 2004 06:05 GMT
After going to <http://tinyurl.com/2tnqw> and realizing that it's a
small world after all, "Doc" <the.doc.is.in@REMOVETHlSgmail.com> said:

>Ashen Shugar <deathsabyss@yahoo.com.au> stared blankly into space for
>> and finally:
>> 8 Australians cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep
>> (passing out) while throwing up into the toilet.
>
>We call it "Praying at the porcelain altar"

I call it an "Unfortunate spasmodic disorder"
Signature

no, i didn't forget the 'F's
http://www.geocities.com/jerk_o2002
http://www.geocities.com/nameless_mod
    -My Diablo 2 Mod
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bunny.php
    -My theme song

Chucky & Janica - 22 Dec 2004 14:18 GMT
Once upon a time - for example, Wed, 22 Dec 2004 06:05:05 GMT - there
was this guy, or something, called jerk-o <jerk-o@yomomma.org>, and
they made us all feel better by saying the following stuff:

>>> 8 Australians cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep
>>> (passing out) while throwing up into the toilet.
>>
>>We call it "Praying at the porcelain altar"
>
>I call it an "Unfortunate spasmodic disorder"

The Reverse Lunch.

C&J

Signature

Beware of Trojans, they're complete smegheads.

    - 13 & 13b of 12, the CMM Collective.
    - www.afrj-monkeyhouse.org

Dave Ryan - 22 Dec 2004 15:55 GMT
While pondering glazed doughnuts Chucky & Janica <janica.hindle@kolumbus.finland> mistakenly typed

: Once upon a time - for example, Wed, 22 Dec 2004 06:05:05 GMT - there
: was this guy, or something, called jerk-o <jerk-o@yomomma.org>, and
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
:
: The Reverse Lunch.

or reverse drink as it were. :P

We used to have a traveling award in college called the 'Boot Award'.

It would magically appear on your door when you had an unfortunate
spasmodic disorder.  ('Boot' was an alternate phrase for blowing chunks)
You had to leave it there until a new 'winner' came along.

-dave
flame_thrower - 22 Dec 2004 15:04 GMT
> After going to <http://tinyurl.com/2tnqw> and realizing that it's a
> small world after all, "Doc" <the.doc.is.in@REMOVETHlSgmail.com> said:
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
>
> I call it an "Unfortunate spasmodic disorder"

George Carlin: Involuntary personal protein spill.
Chucky & Janica - 20 Dec 2004 15:03 GMT
Once upon a time - for example, Mon, 20 Dec 2004 03:00:24 GMT - there
was this guy, or something, called deathsabyss@yahoo.com.au (Ashen
Shugar), and they made us all feel better by saying the following
stuff:

>3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their
>tongue.

How does this happen? All I ever get is a tingle. Not that I ever test
9V batteries on my tongue, or on the end of my penis, ever.

>142 Australians were injured in 1998 by not removing all the pins from
>new shirts.

This has happened to me. It's no laughing matter. I think they put
extra pins in my special tent-sized shirts.

C&J

Signature

Beware of Trojans, they're complete smegheads.

    - 13 & 13b of 12, the CMM Collective.
    - www.afrj-monkeyhouse.org

royls@telus.net - 20 Dec 2004 19:12 GMT
>3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their
>tongue.

??  How?

-- Roy L
Desktop - 20 Dec 2004 20:11 GMT
>> 3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their
>> tongue.
>
> ??  How?

Australians

desktop at home dot se
jerk-o - 20 Dec 2004 21:32 GMT
After going to <http://tinyurl.com/2tnqw> and realizing that it's a
small world after all, royls@telus.net said:

>>3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their
>>tongue.
>
>??  How?

Their tounge whips backward into their mouth, causing them to chock and die
Signature

no, i didn't forget the 'F's
http://www.geocities.com/jerk_o2002
http://www.geocities.com/nameless_mod
    -My Diablo 2 Mod
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bunny.php
    -My theme song

Chucky & Janica - 21 Dec 2004 15:01 GMT
Once upon a time - for example, Mon, 20 Dec 2004 19:12:54 GMT - there
was this guy, or something, called royls@telus.net, and they made us
all feel better by saying the following stuff:

>>3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their
>>tongue.
>
>??  How?

They think it might work if they place it lower down, and before you
know it, they're choking.

C&J

Signature

Beware of Trojans, they're complete smegheads.

    - 13 & 13b of 12, the CMM Collective.
    - www.afrj-monkeyhouse.org

radiodude - 29 Dec 2004 21:51 GMT
>>3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their
>>tongue.
>
> ??  How?
>
> -- Roy L

Must be metric volts-9 Volts metric equals about 42 volts US...
=8cO
-----
Jim
Watchman - 23 Dec 2004 01:00 GMT
> A little Christmas cheer for all from the Australian Bureau of
> Statistics!
>
> 31 Australians have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree
> while the fairy lights were plugged in.

The dangers of a traditional Christmas tree. :) Mind you, I remember
those old trees made of tinsel. A bit of exposed wiring in the lights
electrified the entire tree.

> 19 Australians have died in the last 3 years by eating Christmas
> decorations they believed were chocolate.

Or real candy canes. :)

> Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
> incidents.

Well, they can be tough!

> 101 Australians since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic
> toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

Ouch!

> 18 Australians had serious burns in 1998 trying on a new jumper with a
> lit cigarette in their mouth.

Health Authorities warn, Smoking is a health hazard.

> A massive 543 Australians were admitted to casualty in the last two
> years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth or eye socket.

...the eye socket?!!

> 5 Australians were injured last year in accidents involving out of
> control Scalextric cars.
>
> 3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their
> tongue.

And they taste terrible too!

> 142 Australians were injured in 1998 by not removing all the pins from
> new shirts.

And Lo! There was created the T-shirt!

> 58 Australians are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
> screwdrivers.

But how many end up stabbing themselves with screwdrivers?

> and finally:
> 8 Australians cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep
> (passing out) while throwing up into the toilet.

If that happened on one of those automatic flushing toilets what are the
chances of drowning?

> Ashen Shugar

Here's one statistic I'd like to know. How many injuries are caused by
having to spend lunch/dinner with relatives?

Watchman :)
Signature

     'Anyone who isn't confused doesn't really know what's going on'

radiodude - 29 Dec 2004 21:50 GMT
> A little Christmas cheer for all from the Australian Bureau of
> Statistics!
>
> 31 Australians have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree
> while the fairy lights were plugged in.

fairy lights...is that Richard Simmons holding a flashlight?

> 19 Australians have died in the last 3 years by eating Christmas
> decorations they believed were chocolate.
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> 101 Australians since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic
> toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

As long as they didn't pull them from somewhere else...

Jim
(sorry I'm late-my news servers' been down for a couple-three weeks)
 
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