Ho ho ho, and Merry Christmas!

And what a Merry Christmas we have in store!  All the faithful will be
enjoying the gift of the Nintendo DS come this Christmas morn.  Just when
the world seems doomed to the misery of stale genres, the almighty Nintendo
bestows upon the faithful the gift of dual screens, touch screens, and true
wireless gaming.  Amen!

But, amidst the joy that Nintendo has given the world, there is another.  A
bastard who's name is not worthy of stating has been brought into the world.
Draining the pocket books of the unfaithful and giving them nothing in
return but disks dangerously flying out of its shoddy construction.  Simply
sitting there playing no game, a foreshadowing of its future of being in the
discount bins and forgotten like all the other bastards.

There is not much that can be done about this, and no worry to be had.  Most
of those that would purchase this abomination were predestined to do so.
Perhaps their mothers partook of the gasses of the burning rock.  Perhaps
they were malnourished as children.  But, if any in your flock might be
duped by the evil S, do not worry.  They will see the suffering it brings
those that can't sell it on Ebay because of the backlash against the
defective designs.  Do not feel bad for them.  Their suffering is a lesson.

Just relax and play your superior systems and games, for you are the chosen
ones.  The ones with clear sight and good taste.

Seasons Greetings,

The Mario Monks