Ok, I've always had this pseudo-sexual fascination with the smell of my own
earwax. I cannot explain this fascination to you for I myself cannot
explain or rationalize this turn on. Though the origins and fascination
both are the greatest mysteries of my earthly life, I know not of them, of
this cruel mistress of the auditory canal. All I know is that since I was
12, I have had this monster within, and when she roars, she roars
for.....earwax.  I am truly enslaved by the shackles of the hammer, anvil,
and stirrup, and shall forever be the chattel of the waxy ear nectar I
call.....ambros-ear. Though words can never do my cruel mistress the
justice she deserves, I shall do my very best to describe to you that which
possesses me, that which I crave......Ambros-ear.

I usually start with my favorite ear, my left ear, insert index finger,
dig....dig.....deeper....deeper,,,,,,sensing....sensing....whoa, movement,
I've struck something, I feel the edge, it's huge, I must snare it on my
finger nail tip,,,,,,ahhhhhhh GOT IT! Now for the extraction, closer,
closer, ahhh, ok, I've got it: an HUGE golden nugget of ambros-ear, waxy,
and crisp yet juicy. And now, for my fix.  Index finger in motion, make
sure no one is looking, when the film gets to the A-bomb exploding they will
all be captivated, B-29......Enola Gay......Hiroshima.......20,000
feet.......I AM BECOME AMBROS-EAR, SHATTERER OF WORLDS.
Uh....uh.....AHHHHHHHH!! The sweet sour smell of all smells. My love, my
life. Ok, thump it on the floor and dig again.

When I'm alone....the mistress is still there, forever commanding me to her
will and whim. Ah, the capriciousness, but, ah, the nectar of the inner ear.
I am not man but slave, and slave I shall gladly be, for no man knows the
power nor the pleasure that my monsteress provides and I obeyingly submit,
loving my submission, yearing for....Ambros-ear.